List: Recipe for a Memorable 29th Birthday

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2 tickets to Passion Pit

1 crotchety old man

1 waxed choocha

1 ride on the teacups

2 flower bouquets

3 lbs of bacon

2 smiling fruit bowls

Fruit Smile

1 Scooby Doo Valentine with tattoo

1 table for six

1 fish-shaped platter of sushi

1 bottle of unfiltered sake (or Korean makgeolli)

1 eternal question: What if it wains?

2-3 sets of duck lips with nasal suction

2 couch hogs

2 pints of Downeast Cider

2 former Subway employees

1 trash bag full of tapioca

1 bread bomb

6 front-row seats to a train wreck of a Valentine’s Day break-up; includes:

  • 1 insensitive jerk
  • 1 drained bottle of wine
  • 1 loaded, tear-streaked blonde who then proceeds to:
    • fall down
    • fall down again, knocking over a screen onto a restaurant patron
    • moan drunkenly in a bathroom stall

Mix thoroughly, spread out over two days, and savor.

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3 thoughts on “List: Recipe for a Memorable 29th Birthday

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